Why Men Need Feminism Too

yayfeminism:

Have you ever felt:

  • Insecure because your body wasn’t big enough, strong enough, or slim enough?
  • Pressured to be tough, aggressive and competitive beyond your comfort zone?
  • Ashamed of your interest in cooking, fashion, dance, or some other activity because you were told it made you “gay” or “a girl”?
  • Offended by media representations of helpless adult men who cannot feed, clothe, or bathe themselves without the help of a woman?
  • Burdened by expectations to objectify women, have sex with many women and be sexually aggressive?
  • Helpless when dealing with feelings of sadness, hurt, and shame because you were taught to believe that emotions show weakness and that “real men help themselves”?
  • Confused at how to be sensitive and kind but still be sexually desirable?
  • Alone when you suffered an injury but had to “handle it”?
  • Afraid of being called a “sissy,” “wimp,” “f*g,” “p*ssy,” or “b**ch,”?
  • Ambivalent about what it means to be a “real man”?

If even one or two of these is true, then you need feminism.

Why Feminism Helps Men

Feminism is about changing the gender roles, sexual norms, and sexist practices that limit you and punish you when whenever you deviate from them.

And the experiences listed above (and more) do exactly that: tell you what a “man” should be and punish you when you want to act differently.

All men have been hurt by the traditional gender system.

EverydayFeminism

keithboykin:

When Utah residents saw 22-year-old Darrien Hunt carrying a toy sword, they called police who shot and killed him. But when 22-year-old Joseph Kelley carried an assault rifle to a JC Penney store in Utah, he walked out without a scratch on his body. They were both the same age. Both in the same state. But only one was considered “suspicious.” And you still believe America is color blind?

keithboykin:

When Utah residents saw 22-year-old Darrien Hunt carrying a toy sword, they called police who shot and killed him. But when 22-year-old Joseph Kelley carried an assault rifle to a JC Penney store in Utah, he walked out without a scratch on his body. They were both the same age. Both in the same state. But only one was considered “suspicious.” And you still believe America is color blind?

progressivefem:

roachpatrol:

voxclara:

savanna:

roman-numerals:

yiffstrider:

amporeon:

terraparticle:

amporeon:

IMPORTANT: So they had these cards in the women’s restrooms at this doctor’s office that I was at. I’m really happy that they put them in there because it makes it easier for a woman to escape an abusive relationship without the abuser expecting anything. It gives me hope when I see things like this.

Oh yes, because women are never abusers.

I never said that they can’t/ aren’t. I’m well aware that some women are. I was just trying to talk about a positive thing that I found in a restroom. Don’t turn my post into something that it’s not. God fucking damn it, it’s like you can’t talk about something positive on this site without someone trying to ruin it or twist the original posters words.

Thank you so much for the positive post, and the VERY true words at the asshole commenting on your post. This is the exact reason why I don’t like this website sometimes. Christ.

If you have to qualify Situation A with “but Situation B happens, too,” do you actually give a shit about Situation B? Or are you looking for ways to derail Situation A?

^

40% of domestic violence is experienced by men, do you suppose they also put these cards in the men’s restroom?

Wouldn’t seeing these cards in the restroom alert abusers that there were probably the same cards in the other gender restroom, possibly making them more violent and cutting off their partner even more from resources that could help them?

This seems ill thought out. Unless, of course, they are only in the women’s restroom. In which case they are ignoring 40% of domestic violence victims. I wonder why.

getting really tired of this 40% myth and how frequently everyone scrambles to believe it because they want to look reasonable and fair.

While some people may believe that there is a higher reported incidence of women experiencing violence by their male partners due to men underreporting when they are victims, the reality is the opposite. In 2008, 72 percent of the intimate partner violence against males and 49 percent of the intimate partner violence against females was reported to police.Catalano, Smith, Snyder, & Rand (2009). Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings: Female Victims of Domestic Violence. U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, NCJ 228356.

Researcher Elspeth McInnes…  recounts some of her research that showed that when men talked about women’s violence against men, some cited abuse as not having a hot meal on the table, not having the children bathed before bed, or women spending money on gambling or shopping. At the more severe end of the spectrum, they nominated verbal and emotional violence as abuse. Then, a tiny minority documented physical abuse, and an even smaller minority named sexual abuse. 

“Women were talking about being run over, being drugged and raped at knifepoint, having their children dangled over high rise balconies till they did as they were told and of course you get verbal and emotional violence,” says McInnes. “When we were talking about physical violence against men, one of the worst examples was that she banged his head with the cupboard door – which isn’t good – but the sheer level of fear, harm and terror that women talked about was simply not present in what the men’s data showed.” 

The vast majority of domestic assaults are committed by men. Even when men are victimized, 10% are assaulted by another man. In contrast, only 2% of women who are victimized are assaulted by another woman.2

Two studies have found that at least 40% of police officer families experience domestic violence, (1, 2) in contrast to 10% of families in the general population.(3) A third study of older and more experienced officers found a rate of 24% (4), indicating that domestic violence is 2-4 times more common among police families than American families in general.

in conclusion while domestic abuse hotlines in men’s bathrooms would be great too, women are the majority of victims of violent, life-threatening domestic abuse by a lot more than 40%, and men are still the majority of perpetrators of violent, life threatening domestic abuse, even to other men and boys. this is not a remotely equivalent situation.

using abused men and boys to prop up the myth that women abuse men right back nearly as much is toxic, abhorrent nonsense. we need to cut it the fuck out. 

Thank god somebody debunked the 40% myth. 

the-feminist-fangirl:

50 Actual Facts About Rape

praxis89:

  • Low estimate of the number of women , according to the Department of Justice, raped every year: 300,000
  • High estimate of the number of women raped, according to the CDC: 1.3 million

Percentage of rapes not reported: 54 percent

chaosrocket:

Things I’ve seen feminists do JUST TODAY in regards to men who are sexual assault survivors: 

  • Post a list of resources for men who are sexual assault survivors
  • Spread a project featuring the voices of marginalized sexual assault survivors, including male survivors, non-binary and trans survivors, and survivors who were victimized by women
  • Talk about how it was feminists who lobbied to legally change the definition of rape so that it includes being forced to penetrate

Things I’ve seen MRAs do EVER in regards to men who are sexual assault survivors:

  • Tack the phrase “But what about men” onto discussions of women being raped
  •  
  •  

Why is it that feminists never really seem to consider the fact that men can be forced to pay 18 years for a child they never wanted a problem? I mean we never hear about this from feminists! I'm genuinely curious.

@shotguntactic

fuck-yeah-feminist:

Why is it that the same men complaining about paying never really seem to consider what it’s like for a woman having to spend 18 years of her life dedicated to caring for the “unwanted” child?

Obviously it’s a two-way street. The bottom line is that it takes two to tango— biologically, a man and a woman form the baby together. And unless they are willing to have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption, it is both of their duties to raise the kid.

Societal (read: patriarchal) gender roles dictate that the mother should provide primary care, and that the father should help financially. Feminist critiques would argue against these binary roles, but they certainly wouldn’t give a free-escape card to men who just don’t want to help with the child that’s half theirs.

In fact, many feminists disagree on the topic of alimony payments. Some argue that they are a sexist construction that maintains the notion of women’s inability to support themselves and resulting reliance on men. Others argue that they are “retroactive pay for years of free labor” (x) that make up for career sacrifices made by women who conform to traditional familial constructs.

Check out some more notes on the topic.

hunternins:

90% of “mental health awareness” posts on tumblr are actually “depression and generalized anxiety disorder awareness” posts and actually do nothing to further awareness of mood disorders like bipolar / manic depressive disorder, personality disorders, and god fucking forbid any sort of awareness for anything with even psychotic features, let alone psychosis or delusional disorders

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this

(Source: karin-420)

fernacular:

hyaena13:

themoo-n:

kinkyturtle:

avri-wallflower:

sourcedumal:

Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.
Gurl bye
Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.
You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.
You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.

If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.

girl bye.
lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).
I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING. 
like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.
this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup. 
I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)
but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women. 
but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it. 

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER READ IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

And that is how you tear a fake feminist to shreds. Bravo.

preach

fernacular:

hyaena13:

themoo-n:

kinkyturtle:

avri-wallflower:

sourcedumal:

Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.

Gurl bye

Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.

You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.

You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.

If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.

girl bye.

lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).

I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING. 

like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.

this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup. 

I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)

but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women. 

but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it. 

THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER READ IN THE HISTORY OF EVER

And that is how you tear a fake feminist to shreds. Bravo.

preach

what do you think are the best pro choice arguments??

@sparklingwolves

southern-feminism:

  • Bodily autonomy is the most important argument because it’s bulletproof, really. Bodily autonomy is an unwritten law that says no one can use your body without your consent, which is why (most) humans automatically understand why rape is wrong and why you have to be an organ donor in life for your organs to be taken after your death. Fetuses do not have bodily autonomy because they are not autonomous. Anti-choicers sometimes try to derail at this point and accuse you of ableism, because many disabled people are dependent on others. It is important to remind them that disabled people are still autonomous, because they don’t live inside the body of another person and suck up their nutrients. If abortion is illegal, dead people will officially have more rights than pregnant people (because a dead person’s organs can’t be used if they aren’t an organ donor).
  • Outlawing abortion will not stop abortion, but make it less safe. As high as 1.2 million people died attempting unsafe and illegal abortions between 1880 and 1973, and thousands more were injured[x]. Abortions are going to happen no matter what, so if anti-choicers really care about pregnant people, they had better simmer down and let abortion be.
  • Fetuses cannot feel and do not have a sense of mortal danger. There are no detectable brain waves that would translate to pain or fear until 28 weeks. An abortion after 28 weeks only happens under special circumstances, and the fetus is euthanized before a 3rd-trimester abortion, meaning it feels none of the abortion
  • A heartbeat does not make something alive. There is this thing called  Electroencephalography (EEG), which records brain activity. If someone has no EEG activity, they are declared brain dead. Some say that fetuses don’t have brainwaves detectable by EEG until a certain point, while some say they don’t at all until birth.
  • Life does not equal personhood. The biological definition of life is something that is made of cells and has the ability to grow and reproduce. Animals are alive. Trees are alive. Bacteria are alive. Are they people? No.
  • Many anti-choicers claim that legal abortion in the First World is dangerous, which is not true. Not only is legal abortion safe, here are some things that are unsafe: inducing miscarriage with drugs without physician discretion, placing foreign objects up the vagina to induce miscarriage, douching with harsh chemicals, ingesting chemicals to induce miscarriage, and self-inflicted trauma to the abdomen caused by punching/falling/etc. (all methods of abortion pre-Roe). Many doctors agree that surgical abortion by the cut-off date is easier than wisdom teeth extraction, and very early abortions are more difficult to mess up than a tooth extraction. Pregnancy and childbirth are actually more dangerous than legal surgical abortion. Every minute in the US, at least one person dies from a complication related to pregnancy/childbirth, which is 287,000 a year[x]. Even more get sick or injured from these complications, about 10 million per year[x]. Approximately 400 people have died from abortion since Roe v. Wade ruling, which means 400 people in 40 years dead from legal abortion compared to approximately 11,767,000 dead from pregnancy/childbirth. Pregnancy/childbirth has killed over 27,000 times more people than legal abortion.
  • Adoption is not always the answer. Adoption does not make someone unpregnant, and they still have to go through the agony of pregnancy (if you don’t want to be pregnant, it can be truly agonizing) for 9 months. Also, adoption isn’t even the best for the fetus. Being put up for adoption can lead to catastrophe for many children, and there are already so many children waiting to be adopted. imageimageimageimageimage
  • A tiring argument from anti-choicers is that abortion is “racist” because PoC get abortions more than white people. First of all, the people who argue this are putting all this money into shaming people out of abortions when they could be making donations to help fix the socioeconomic gap between Black/Latin@ and white people, so they have no place to talk about abortion being racist. Secondly, if abortion is racist, so is adoption! Look at this: imageimage
    Who in their right mind would shame a Black person out of their abortion, telling them to choose adoption instead, knowing that the child probably won’t be adopted outside of a pre-planned adoption?
  • A lot of anti-choicers will claim that sex is only for pro-creation, therefore it’s only fair to punish people for having sex with an unwanted pregnancy. This actually isn’t true. If human sex were only for procreation, the clitoris would not exist.
  • I’ve experienced a lot of anti-choicers claiming elective abortion based on fetal abnormality/disability is ableist, which is pretty ironic of them to say considering not everyone who can get pregnant is fit to be pregnant and have a child (often due to disabilities), but anti-choicers think they should be forced to no matter what. That is ableist.
  • Right to life does not trump everything else. If an anti-choicer claims it does, be sure to ask them why they haven’t donated one of their kidneys, a few lung lobes, bone marrow, blood, liver pieces, etc., because everyone deserves to live more than each person deserves rights over their own body, right?
  • "Women deserve better." A bit cissexist, but, yes, pregnant people do deserve better (link).
  • Abortion is a constitutional right (in the US)! It isn’t written explicitly in the US Constitution, but the Supreme Court declared it a constitutional right under Amendments 1, 3, 4, 5, 9, and 14 during Roe v. Wade.
  • If an anti-choicer compares abortion rates to genocide, be sure to define genocide for them. Genocide is targeting and deliberately killing a specific group. The Holocaust was Jewish people, the Rwandan Genocide was the Tutsis, and, in Colonial US, it was Native Americans. Fetuses are not aborted for one discriminatory reason. Abortion is not genocide because no specific group is deliberately killing fetuses because they are fetuses. People don’t get pregnant and say, “Ew, a fetus, kill it.” Also, remind them that, if abortion were the monstrosity they claim it is, they wouldn’t have to compare it to something else (the Holocaust, African slavery, etc.) to get their point across. We don’t compare 9/11 or the Holocaust to anything else because people automatically understand how bad they are when they are explained, without comparisons.
  • Anti-choice beliefs are misogynistic. Even for pregnant people who don’t identify as women, anti-abortion movements against them are a form of misogyny because they are basically being punished for having the parts necessary for pregnancy(vagina, uterus, etc.). When you tell someone they shouldn’t be able to abort a pregnancy, you are also telling them they don’t have or deserve control over their body. You’re saying a being with no sentience has more rights over this person because they are the one with the vagina (notice, the penis in the situation still has control over their body), which is misogyny. Suggesting that a person not get an abortion also suggests that pregnancy and childbirth aren’t that bad. When you call the pregnant person wanting an abortion a murderer, and don’t say anything to the penis-person who may or may not have played a part in the decision, you are being a misogynist.
  • Abortion occurs in nature. When a nonhuman animal is pregnant at a bad time, they will electively abort. Some animals eat poisonous plants, and some even walk through spaces too small for them to crush the fetus. All so they won’t give birth to a baby they can’t feed.
  • Elective abortion is a maternal instinct. Some anti-choicers vocally wonder why people can have abortions, saying it conflicts with maternal instincts, but, if you look at nonhuman animals and why they abort, you see that abortion is maternal instinct, to save a child from being born unwanted/very sick. Also, that’s a sexist thing to say because not everyone with a vagina has a proper maternal instinct, or child abuse by mothers would never happen.
  • Even if someone will not let the idea go that abortion is murder, it’s justifiable homicide, self-defense. Having something inside of you that you don’t want in there is a medical urgency. When that thing is violating your bodily autonomy, it is self-defense to kill it.
  • Abortion does not cause breast cancer. All studies that say so show a correlation, but no evidence of cause, and the studies are very specific to certain type of women (same race and age).

the-feminist-fangirl:

boyexemplified:

socialworkgradstudents:

korythedirtyracetraitor:

longlivexxxx:

[x]

she was dressed modestly to begin with though wtf

But obviously girl knees are so much more psychologically problematic to a developing adolescent than watching adults wield and flex the ability to humiliate powerless children with the excuse that the knees of children are inherently sexually stimulating

fucking hell I thought this was the Onion

My middle school had these, except they were gray shapeless sacks called spare tires. My principal also made boys with sagging pants wear effeminate belts to humiliate them.